…is often underestimated.
In high-pressure environments we tend to discuss what is needed, what needs to get done, what pushes the urgent forward.
In exactly those environments, like startups, a busy months at work which both often times also end up being a busy time at home and for your relationship, there is one thing that does not get enough attention. It is the intrinsic value of communicating what’s up, what you’re feeling, how a certain situation makes you feel.
While in fact...
1. It enables to zoom out and refresh. It helps you grow.
Wording it differently: It enables you to stimulate our self-awareness. For instance, being able to share what concerns and matters are on our mind regarding the current business deal and how this challenges you in a certain way can help you to see what you have already done and what lies ahead of you. Sometimes we find our own solution, just by having a listener in front of us.
However, I learned that in moments like this, it might not be so much about sharing what you are thinking but much more about asking the right questions to be able to see the bigger picture again, to zoom out, and understand what would help you refresh for the next leap and recharges you.
Putting this into action is as easy as taking 20 minutes together as a team or as a couple and asking each other three simple questions:
I. What is the big thing on your mind today?
II. What creates a barrier to your creative, productive thinking and doing today and for the next month?
III. How can I help?
2. It makes you relatable, understood and appreciated. It makes you human.
We want to experience with others. We want to feel understood. Feel safe. Feel aligned. Feel like on the same page. We want to speak the same language.
One of the most common factors of feelings of irritation, annoyance, mistrust, dismissal or fear is the missed opportunity to have shared who we are, where we are at, what we expect and/or what we feel. All of them appear at home and in business, with your mother, sister or brother, best friend or partner. With your business partner, boss or colleague. We all have felt it before - That feeling that the other one just “doesn’t get it”.
But it does not have to be that way. Keeping the communication going and sharing thoughts beyond matter reminds us that we all have a story and that we all need people we can trust with our uncertainties and victories. Those are the moments, which make enable us to live pure joy and celebration or help each other through hard work or tough periods worth living for.
It enables us to see each other grow, become better selfs and stronger teams.
Everybody needs a cheerleader. And it starts by asking: How are you today? How can I help?
Sounds easy and it is.